WarStoryville
by Lint
Summary: Battles lost and won in 1941.
1. Innocence

Title: WarStoryville  
Author: Lint  
Email: CrashDarby@aol.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were, never will be.   
Pairings: Multiple  
Notes: Heavily influenced by Pearl Harbor.   
  
***  
  
The squeal of five eager young nurses nearly drowned out the heavy clacking sound of the rail underneath the train as it rolled toward it's destination. The conductor had already asked them twice to try and keep it down, but they couldn't help being rambunctious. It was their first extended leave in three weeks. Other passengers consisted mainly of elderly folks who could easily ignore the excitement of vigorous youth. There were six of them, all dressed in their finest civilian clothes, faces powdered, lips red. Anya even went as far as wearing a fur coat. Two smoked cigarettes and chatted up a storm, while the other three giggled amongst themselves and stared out the window. One single gal sat quietly, enjoying her friends' energy.   
  
Anya, Willow, Tara, Cordelia, and Amy took turns bantering back and forth about what they would do in the city. The sights, the sounds, the clubs. How they would handle a soldier if he tried to get fresh with them.   
  
"I'd make him curse the day he ever thought a cheesy line would work on me!" Anya roared before collapsing with laughter.  
  
"I'd tell him he better have it in him to back it up," Cordelia said.   
  
Four of the girls stared at her, eyes slightly widened.  
  
"What?" She asked. "If he's brave enough to even try a line on me it shouldn't go un-rewarded.  
  
The girls stared at her for another moment before bursting into laughter.   
  
"What would you do Willow?" Amy asked her friend.   
  
"Me?" Willow replied. "I...well I guess I'd... Oh shoot, I don't know."  
  
Cordelia grinned at her. "I'll tell you what to do," she said. "Right in the middle of 'oh baby, we might be at war tomorrow.' Plant one right on him. I guarantee he'll be shell-shocked."  
  
Willow giggled and Tara looked at her seriously.   
  
"Hey," she said. "It's what I'd do."  
  
All five squealed into laughter once more.   
  
"Why aren't we asking Buffy this stuff?" Amy asked in-between giggles.   
  
Five heads turned toward the sixth girl of the group, sitting there contently silent. Smiling and listening to them.   
  
"Buffy doesn't qualify for this conversation," Anya said. "She's already got herself a steady beau."  
  
"Uh huh," Tara chimed in. "Her dear Angel. She loooooves him."   
  
Buffy grinned and laughed along with all her friends.   
  
"Laugh it up girl," Cordelia said. "Just sit back and relax with your man while the rest of us have to hunt down ours."  
  
"Hunt them down like buffalo!" Amy shouted, the six of them falling into a giggle fit for the hundredth time.   
  
"He's bringing friends," Buffy said to all of them.  
  
"Pilots?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy nodded. "All of them I think."  
  
The girls chorused in whoops and hollers. Tonight was going to be a ball. They could feel it.   
It was quiet for about a minute before Amy couldn't stand it any longer and broke the silence.   
  
"So Buffy," she asked. "Just how did you meet this man of yours?"  
  
"Yeah how?" Anya, Willow, Tara, and Cordelia echoed.   
  
"Oh come on," Buffy replied. "I've told you all this story a million times already."  
  
"So make it a million and one," Amy insisted. "I haven't heard it."   
  
The five girls stared at their friend expectantly.   
  
"Okay, okay," she caved.  
  
"Yay!" Amy grinned.   
  
All of them leaned forward in their seats.   
  
"It's a funny story actually," Buffy began.   
  
***  
  
"Ow, ow, ow!"  
  
"I'm really sorry!"  
  
"Don't touch it!"  
  
Buffy's eyebrows perked up at the commotion coming from the hallway. It was usually quiet on Wednesday afternoons. She put down the bottles she was counting, dropped her clipboard on the counter and walked swiftly into the hall. Two figures loomed at the end of the hall, one sitting on the chairs next to the elevator, the other standing over him. As she got closer, what she saw was as humorous as it seemed painful. A tall, well built soldier with dark shortly cropped hair and slightly paled skin. Stood hunched over another dark haired soldier whose nose seemed to be bleeding profusely. She stepped back into the supply room and grabbed some cotton swabs and a towel. Shaking her head slightly as she approached them, she told the bleeding one to tilt his head back. She pinched the bridge of his nose and bit back a giggle as he gritted his teeth and grunted softly.   
  
Glancing at his dog tag, she sterilized a cotton swab with a bit of alcohol and began to gently wipe the blood away.   
  
"I don't think it's broken Alex," she said.   
  
"Xander," he grunted through his clenched teeth.   
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"No one calls me Alex except my dad and he's dead," he said. "Call me Xander."  
  
"Okay Xander," she replied with a smile. "I don't think you did this in flight training. So what happened?"   
  
"He did it," Xander replied, pointing at his friend.   
  
Buffy glanced up at the man standing next to them. His face held an impish grin, like he was trying not to laugh. Their eyes met, and for a moment Buffy found herself lost in the deep soulful orbs.   
  
________  
  
"Was it love at first site?" Amy asked.   
  
"Yeah was it?" Willow and Tara echoed in unison.  
  
"Almost," Buffy said with a grin.  
________   
  
"OW!" Xander shouted when the distracted Buffy pressed a bit too hard on his nose.   
  
"Oh I'm sorry!" She said.   
  
"Baseball," Xander's friend said. "We were playing baseball."   
  
"DiMaggio you aren't," Xander muttered.   
  
"What's your name soldier?" Buffy asked looking back to him.   
  
"Angel."  
  
"That's a pretty name. But really?"  
  
"It's actually Liam," Xander answered. "But no one has called them that since he was eight."  
  
"Then why Angel?" Buffy asked.   
  
"Used to have a voice like one," Xander answered again.   
  
"He doesn't anymore?"  
  
"Can't sing a note. Puberty wasn't kind to him."  
  
She smiled at Xander briefly. "He doesn't talk much does he?"  
  
"Only when I need to," Angel said quietly.   
______  
  
"Ooh, so cool," Anya taunted.   
  
"Let her finish the story An," Willow said.   
  
"Fine."  
______  
  
After another few minutes Buffy finished patching Xander up, every once in awhile daring to glance over at Angel. He never said anything other than a few more apologies. Buffy told Xander to keep the cotton swabs stuffed until he was sure the bleeding had stopped. Both he and Angel thanked her, Xander going as far as kissing her hand. They left the hospital without really looking back at her.   
  
______  
  
"That's the story?" Amy questioned.   
  
"She's not done yet," Cordelia answered.   
  
"Yeah," Tara grinned. "The best part is coming up."  
  
"Are you going to let me finish any time soon?" Buffy asked.   
  
"Yes!" They all shouted.   
  
"Okay then."  
______  
  
The sun was just beginning to set as Buffy walked down the steps from the hospital. It had been a long day. After Xander's little mishap an entire company of men had come in for vaccinations. She'd never seen so many asses in her life. She almost thought she'd grow tired of them. She stopped in the middle of the stairs to look inside her bag for something to tie her hair back when she heard something behind her. She spun quickly, nearly losing her balance on the step. He caught her swiftly, saving her from a fall.   
  
"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to startle you."  
  
"Startle me? Uh, no...Not at all. I wasn't startled."  
  
"No?"  
  
"A little surprised maybe, but not startled."  
  
He said nothing in response, merely stared at her. She didn't know how to respond.   
  
"So how's Xander doing?" She asked.   
  
"Still talking like a telephone operator," Angel said. "But I guess a line drive to the schnoze will do that."  
  
"Are you two brothers? You seem an awful lot alike."  
  
"Stepbrothers actually. Known him practically my whole life."  
  
"You get along well?"  
  
"When were not hitting baseballs at each other's faces, yeah we get along fine."  
  
Buffy laughed lightly causing a smile to grace his lips. They stood silent for a few minutes, a slight awkward silence, each not knowing exactly what to say to each other. Buffy checked her watch; she was five minutes late to meeting up with Amy.   
  
"Oh shoot," she said. "I have to go. Um...did you want something?"  
  
"Actually...I wanted to...I mean if you weren't busy..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Would you like to go for some coffee? Or a picture show or something?"  
  
"Hmm, coffee or a picture show. Those my only options?"  
  
______  
  
"You did not say that!" Amy said astonished.   
  
"Oh yes she did," Anya replied smugly.   
  
"Girls!" Willow admonished.  
  
"Sorry."  
______  
  
  
"Uh well, we could do whatever you wanted...I mean...you know. If you wanted to."  
  
She stood there a moment pretending to think it over, taking slight amusement in the way he seemed to be on the edge of his toes.   
  
"You know..." she began. Angel's eyes were fixed on her. His eagerness for her answer painfully transparent.   
  
"I think I'd like that."  
  
***  
  
"Aww," all the girls sighed in unison.   
  
"So far it's been the best three months of my life," Buffy said.   
  
"I need a little romance," Willow said wistfully.   
  
"You need more than that honey," Cordelia said.   
  
"I think we all do," Amy piped in.  
  
A few rows down the conductor sighed as the end of the car irrupted into laughter yet again.   
  
***  
  
The six soldiers that made up the Hellmouth Squadron stood on the train platform, uniforms freshly pressed, shoes spit-shined and hats perfectly poised on their heads. Xander, Wesley, Oz, Jonathan, and Spike bantered back and forth eager for the train to arrive. Spike was telling Jonathan which lines to use and which not too, while Wesley and Oz stood in their mutual stoicism. Angel stood a few feet in front of his friends. His fingers were slightly clenched around a single rose he intended to give to Buffy.   
  
"You know," Xander said to his brother, patting him on the shoulder. "If you don't relax you're gonna kill that thing."  
  
"Who's not relaxed?" Angel replied.   
  
"Hide it all you want," Xander said. "But you don't hide it well."  
  
"S-she's b-bringing friends r-right?" Jonathan stuttered.   
  
"I'm sure she is," Wesley said. "Otherwise our being here would be pointless."  
  
"Do you always have to talk like that?" Xander asked.   
  
"Talk like what?"  
  
"Like you have starch in your underwear," Spike shot in.   
  
"There is nothing wrong with the way I speak William," Wesley retorted.   
  
"Don't call me that Price," Spike warned.   
  
"Don't make fun of my speech."  
  
The two advanced toward each other like they would come to blows when Oz got between them.   
  
"Guys," he said evenly. "Trains here."  
  
The two separated immediately and stood straight. They struggled to see through the steam caused by the train.   
  
"I don't see anyone," Spike grumbled.   
  
He didn't. But Angel did.   
  
He walked right through the mist to the girl with the long blond hair, picked her up and twirled her around in circles. She wrapped her arms around his neck, just loving being this close to him.   
  
"Hey you," he said.   
  
"Hey yourself."  
  
He set her down and kissed her cheek before presenting her with the rose. She took it and brought it to her nose, inhaling its sweet scent.   
  
"It's lovely," she said. "Thank you."   
  
The two stared at each other and it seemed as if the rest of the world didn't exist. If their friends weren't right behind them it would have kept on seeming that way.   
  
"Ahem," Cordelia coughed loudly.   
  
"Right," Buffy muttered. "People."   
  
She turned to face her girls, a beaming smile on her face.   
  
"Ladies," she said before turning to the boys behind Angel. "Anya, Amy, Cordelia, Willow, and Tara." "Gentleman," Angel announced. "Xander, Oz, Spike, Wesley, and Jonathan."   
  
The steamed cleared completely and the nurses' eyes met the soldiers. Cordelia walked right up to Wesley. Tara tiptoed her way toward Jonathan. Spike waltzed up to Amy. Willow and Oz merely looked at each other before grinning and nodding. Anya walked over to Xander. Buffy and Angel looked at each other. Everyone was paired up for the night. It was time to celebrate.   
  
"Where exactly are we going?" Cordelia asked as they all walked out of the train station and onto the street.   
  
"The Bronze Ballroom," Spike announced. "Wining, dining, and dancing for all. We'll have a ball, so don't stall, don't stall." Amy giggled squeezing tighter on his arm.   
  
"And he makes fun of the way I talk," Wesley bit out quietly. "I think I like the way you talk flyboy," Cordelia replied leaning her head on his shoulder. Wesley looked down to her, a grin easily forming.   
  
"So...do you dance?" Willow sheepishly asked Oz. "I'm a machine," he said causing a laugh.   
  
"You're a pilot huh?" Anya asked Xander. "I am." "Do you do tricks?" "You mean like rolls and loops?"  
"Uh huh." "I've done a little hot-dogging in my time." "Show me?" "Sure."  
  
"Spike? Your name is Spike?" "Yeah it is." "How do you get a name like that?" "Let's just say I'm not very good with a hammer."   
  
"S-so Tara, y-you l-like being a n-nurse?" "I like it fine," Tara said. "Do you always stutter?" "S-s-sometimes, j-just in f-front...in f-f-front..." "In front of gals?" Jonathan smiled gratefully at her. "Y-yeah."  
  
Buffy watched as her friends flirted and laughed and smiled with their dates. She couldn't help feeling   
  
"This is going to be wonderful," Buffy whispered in Angel's ear. "Just wonderful."  
  
***  
  
Music blared from the inside of the Bronze Ballroom. The velvet curtains adoring the walls shook with the vibration. Golden Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and the plush maroon carpeting squished underneath the patrons feet. Up on stage The Glenn Miller Orchestra wailed their way through Pennsylvania 6-5000.   
  
"All right," Spike said happily. "Some descent swinging music."  
  
Scores of soldiers, nurses, and civilians milled about. They danced, smoked, and drank. A few whisked off to quiet corners of the club for some illicit necking. Buffy and Angel were cuddled up in a booth, sipping drinks and watching the dance crowd. Buffy's eyes were fixed on Willow and Oz in the middle of the floor, swinging to the beat. She was surprised at how well Willow could dance. When she'd first met the shy, somewhat awkward at times girl back in med. training; she didn't really seem the dancing type. Seeing her now...the girl could cut a rug.   
  
Spike and Amy bopped around next to Willow and Oz. She couldn't see Cordelia anywhere and assumed he must have done something to be rewarded. Though, Wesley didn't seem the kind of guy to spout pick up lines. Tara and Jonathan sat at the bar sipping drinks and having a conversation. You could see him stuttering all the way from across the room and Tara smiling at it. Buffy looked a few booths down to where Anya and Xander sat. Anya was obviously chatting up a storm and Xander sat there quietly, politely paying attention. If she tried she could almost hear their conversation.   
  
"You like my dress?" Anya asked. "It's an original Sanger. Almost took a months salary to buy it."  
  
"It's nice," Xander replied.   
  
"So do you like...?"  
  
A blare of the horn section from the band cut off the conversation to Buffy's ears.   
  
"Xander not much of a dancer?" She asked Angel.   
  
The look on Angel's face told her no. "Not really," he said.   
  
"Anya seems to be taken with him."  
  
"Seems to be."  
  
"He doesn't look that way."  
  
Angel turned his head toward his friend. "He's got a few confidence issues," he said. "Most of the time, when a girl like Anya there clearly digs him, he's pretty clueless."  
  
"Wow," Buffy mused. "That's pretty clueless."  
  
"We're not here to talk about Xander," Angel said wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Are we?"  
  
She looked to him, lips curled in a grin. She kissed him sweetly before taking his hand.   
  
"Come on flyboy," she said. "Let's dance."  
  
The walked over to the dance floor passing a table Amy and Spike had sat down at to rest. Spike was slamming a few shots while Amy gingerly sampled hers.   
  
"Careful with the booze," Angel warned. "I don't think Commander Giles would appreciate us all showing up drunk."   
  
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about me;" Spike said downing another shot. "I can handle my self."  
  
"Fine," Angel replied putting his hands up in surrender.  
  
The band broke into Tuxedo Junction and Angel swung Buffy around, jiving to the tunes. The dance floor thrived, and everyone was having a ball. A perfect night to say the least. 


	2. Battle Cries

  
"You are a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk," Xander said walking around the perimeter of his plane. "You have a top speed of 360 miles per hour. A bomb load capacity of 500 pounds and six, count them, six .50 caliber guns." He ran his hand along the edge of the right wing. "You're a little afraid of those high-speed bank turns but that's okay." He strolled around the end of the tail. "The dives will be as easy as back home at Lake Elizabeth. That's a promise." He swaggered his way toward the left wing. "And the barrel rolls with be smooth and flawless. That's a promise." He ran his hand along the edge of the left wing. "You're fighting fit and I aim to keep it that way. You take care of me; I take care of you."   
  
He stood there staring at his fighter. It was his ritual to run through the flight plan before they went up into the air. He looked at the nose thinking some teeth painted there would look pretty swank.   
  
"Now when..."  
  
"Talking to your plane again?" Angel asked walking out of the hangar. "You know the guys think you're crazy for doing that."  
  
"Let them think what they want," Xander replied. "It brings me luck."  
  
"Luck huh?"  
  
"Don't you start."   
  
"I won't, I won't."  
  
"So how'd it go last night with Buffy?"  
  
Angel's smile told him everything.   
  
"Oh," was all Xander could say.  
  
"Yeah," Angel replied. "How'd it go with Anya?"  
  
"She's a sweet gal."  
  
"There's a but in there right?"   
  
"But nothing. She's sweet and pretty and...Ah hell. I don't know. Something just isn't there."  
  
"It's either there or it isn't," Angel replied.   
  
"Says the man who possesses the 'there.'"   
  
Angel would have asked if something was wrong but Spike came barreling past them out of the hangar.   
  
"Let's get these ladies in the air boys!" He shouted running past.   
  
Angel looked to Xander who was laughing at Spike's exuberance. Xander looked back to him and smiled. Angel decided to drop any question he had for his friend. It was time to fly.   
  
Ten minutes into the training op. Angel could sense something was wrong, though he was unsure of what exactly it could be. P-40's were the best planes the Military had. Much better than those P51 Mustangs the Fighting Hound Dog Squad buzzed around in.   
  
"What's wrong?" He asked. He knew he made fun of Xander for talking to his plane, but he too found something oddly comforting in it.   
  
Tighten up that formation McAllister! Commander Giles' voice blared into the radio.   
  
On it sir. Angel answered.   
  
Something wrong? Xander asked.   
  
She feels real tight. Angel said. Stick doesn't want to move hardly.  
  
I always knew you gripped it too hard. Spike chirped in.   
  
Can it William! Giles warned. If she feels off Angel bring'er back in and we'll have Ethan take a look.  
  
I can handle her Commander.  
  
You sure?  
  
Yes sir.  
  
Then get back with the squad and tighten that formation!  
  
Yes sir!  
  
Angel grunted against the stick as he maneuvered back alongside Xander. They were flying close enough to where Angel could see Xander's head turn toward him.   
  
Are you sure everything's fine? He asked.   
  
I said it was. Angel barked.   
  
The squadron kept formation as it banked a hard left and down for the valley floor. Practice gun runs was one of Angel's favorite ops. They rose above the surrounding hills, the endless sea of green trees spilling underneath them. Angel's forehead beaded with sweat as he continued to struggle with the controls.   
  
Let's take that run again. Giles commanded. Looked a little sloppy coming out of the valley.  
  
Yes sir. Everyone replied.   
  
They banked again, Angel's plane jerking slightly out of form, and dove for the valley once more. Wesley led the charge through, Oz to his left and Spike to his right. Xander and Angel brought up the rear. They zipped through the valley flawlessly, the bottoms of their planes nearly skimming the treetops. The hills approached quickly and Wesley, Oz, and Spike pulled up and out easily. Xander dropped back when it seemed like Angel wouldn't be following so easily.   
  
What the hell are you doing? Xander shouted. Pull up!  
  
It won't move! Angel shouted back. The sticks locked! She won't pull!  
  
The hills were coming closer with each ticking second. If he couldn't pull out he'd be dead.   
  
She's not budging!   
  
Just pull! Xander was yelling, simultaneously pounding on the glass of his cockpit and keeping his plane in control.   
  
She's not pulling. Angel said quietly. He watched the hills get closer, coming far too quickly now. He knew he wasn't going to make it.   
  
You be the one to tell Buffy. Angel said.   
  
What? Don't talk like that! Just pull that fucking thing up!  
  
Angel didn't respond. He let his last few thoughts on earth bring him peace.   
  
Seconds later Liam "Angel" McAllister's P-40 fighter plane smashed into the face of Skyline Hill.   
  
"Angel!!!" Xander shouted seeing the flames rise from the hillside milliseconds before his own plane flew up and over. He circled around again seeing the flame and smoke rise from the wreckage. The truth was blazing bright orange below but he couldn't acknowledge it. Angel was gone. He wished the fire would burn hot enough to salt the earth.   
  
***  
  
He watched her from outside the doors of the hospital. He wasn't exactly sure how long he'd been standing there. He had no watch, and his feet refused to move and inch for him. His eyes stung from the glare of the sun reflecting off the windows, but he couldn't tear them away. He could almost see her through the glare. He knew he would have to go in there sooner or later. Not a chance in hell was he not going to fulfill his best friend's last wish. Wiping the remaining tears from his eyes, he took a deep breath and forced his legs to move.   
  
He didn't hear a sound as he advanced forward through the hall. Just mere months ago Angel had guided him through this very hall, his nose bleeding like a faucet. He didn't look at the chairs where they had sat. He couldn't. He saw movement everywhere but his eyes wouldn't make out anything. He couldn't even hear his own feet squeak along the tile.   
  
"Hi Xander," Anya said with a smile, coming out of a room.   
  
His name caused Buffy to look up at him. She saw instantly the distant, desolate look of despair layered across his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but never had to say a word. Just looking at him she knew. Her tears spilled seconds before he made it around the desk and put his arms around her. He looked to Anya; she clearly saw the question in his eyes.   
  
"Go," she said. "I'll cover for her."  
  
He escorted Buffy out of the hospital never letting go of her. They stopped on a bench at the park across the street. No one was around.   
  
"How?" She asked so quietly her barely heard her.   
  
"He went down flying," he said.   
  
She nodded solemnly; finally letting her sobs overtake her. Xander began to cry as well, knowing that he was with the one person in the world whose sense of loss matched his.   
  
***  
  
The entire Hellmouth Squadron stood in their dress uniforms surrounding the casket that kept the remains of their friend. It was made of the finest quality polished mahogany. An American flag lay draped over half of the coffin while flowers took up the other. Commander Giles, Oz, Spike, Wesley, and Jonathan stood at attention, arms up in a salute. Tara, Cordelia, Anya, Amy, and Willow stood next to them, in black dresses with tissues in hand. Angel and Xander's parents stood at one end, their father consoling their mother. Everyone except Buffy and Xander bowed their heads as the priest spoke his prayers. The two couldn't take their eyes the casket. Each of them silently refusing to believe he was actually gone. Their eyes met for a brief moment, red and swollen from crying, a quiet understanding flowing between them. They didn't know what it meant. All they knew was at that moment they could understand each other better than anyone.   
  
A few minutes later the priest finished with his words and the moment was shattered. Xander moved next to Buffy as the officers in the distance began the twenty-one gun salute. He squeezed her shoulder gently as she flinched from the sound of the gunshots. Two other officers removed the flag from the coffin, folded it into a triangle and handed it to their mother. The squad stood at attention once more as the pallbearers began to lower the coffin into the ground. The priest sprinkled holy water as it sank slowly. Buffy removed herself from Xander's hold and pulled something from her bag. She kneeled next to the hole and set it atop the casket. Xander smiled sadly as he saw it. The rose Angel had given her that night at the club. She then picked up a small mound of dirt and sprinkled it across.   
  
"Good-bye," she said softly.   
  
He helped her to her feet and she turned into his arms and began to cry once more.   
  
Everyone began walking off in their own directions when the ceremony ended. Xander shook hands with all his friends and the girls all hugged him lightly. He kissed his mother on the cheek and hugged stepfather in the manly manner. Buffy still stood at the spot where Angel's coffin now rest in the ground. Xander's mother told him to go to her.   
  
He approached her slowly; not sure what to do now that everyone wasn't there. He put a hand on her shoulder.   
  
"If you ever need anything," he said. "Anything at all. Just ask."  
  
She looked up to him, smiling sadly through her tears.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
He nodded before removing his hand and turning away to leave her alone.   
  



	3. All Heals in Good Time

  
***  
6 months later.   
***   
  
He walked down the street with his hands in his pockets, watching his feet as he went. He wasn't sure where he was going. He'd declined on the guys offer to go out with them. They were all still dating the nurses and he didn't want to sit there like a sixth wheel. He knew he could have been dating Anya if he wanted too. She was a nice girl and all, but as he'd told Angel. There just wasn't anything thing there. She didn't seem to be too bothered at his rejection. In fact, last he'd heard she was dating some sailor named Jerry. He wished them the best.   
  
He'd spent more hours up in the air than he should have today. If it were up to him he'd still be up there. Jonathan was the one who'd tried the most to get him to come out with them. It was nice to know his friends cared about him enough to try to pull him out of the rut he'd wedged himself in. He'd caved and gone a few times, but he never had any fun. He'd get sloshed and sit there. Never speaking to any girls, never really participating in the conversations. The only reason he'd left the barracks tonight was because Spike was sick. One could only listen to the man's whining and coughing so much.   
  
The concrete passed underneath his feet steadily, his pace was neither fast nor slow. The pace of a man with nowhere to go. He couldn't decide weather to see a picture, grab a bite to eat, or just head back to the base. He rounded the corner with his head still down, not seeing the girl walking in his same fashion. They collided head on or head to chest, as he was almost a foot taller.  
  
"Oof," she mumbled before falling to the ground.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Miss." he began, reaching out a hand to help her up. "Buffy?"  
  
"Xander?" She asked, grabbing his hand and pulling herself up. "Hi."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Taking a stroll?" She asked looking behind him expecting the guys to come around the corner. "By yourself?"   
  
"Yeah," He replied looking past her shoulder. "You too?"  
  
"Well...yes."  
  
"It's been awhile," he said.   
  
"A few months," she agreed. "How have you been?"  
  
"Honestly?"  
  
"Honesty is good."  
  
"I've been better," he said. "You know the saying 'all heals in good time.' Well I guess that's true."  
  
"I've heard that."  
  
"How have you been?"  
  
"Honestly?" She said with a slight smile.   
  
"Honesty is good," he replied.   
  
"I've...Well I've guess I've been better too. I mean, the days..." A deep breath. "It does get easier you know?"  
  
"I do."  
  
There stared at each other a moment. That sudden connection of knowing exactly how another person is feeling coming back like the day of the funeral. She looked at him, he looked at her. The awkwardness came in a flash and they both looked away.   
  
"So..." he said somewhat lamely. "Were you...I mean did you have somewhere to go?"  
  
"No," she replied. "I was just...taking a walk."  
  
"Me too," he ran a hand through his hair not knowing what else to do with it. "Listen," he said. "I was just going to head over to the movie house to see what's playing. You...want to come?"   
  
She looked at him for a moment, head tilted slightly as if weighing her options. He stared at her expectantly and she nodded.   
  
"Sure," she said.   
  
They made small talk on the way to the movie house. Catching up on what each other had been doing in the last few months. He talked about all the flight time he was clocking in. She talked about all the shifts she'd taken up at the hospital. They'd both thrown themselves into their routines. Something neither one of them found surprising. She hadn't had much of a social life since Angel died. Occasionally going out with the girls when they'd convince to come or drag her anyway. He knew what that was like. They smiled at each other softly. Another thing they'd shared.   
  
Once at the movie house, he'd been the gentleman insisting to pay. After a brief argument of insistence she'd agreed. When the newsreels came on both of them couldn't look at the screen as it showed the glorified deaths of fighter pilots over in Europe. "Give us the tools," Churchill had said. "And we will finish the job."   
  
"We're being trained for that war," Xander whispered. "Yet the U.S. still wants stay out if it."  
  
"Why jump into a fight that isn't yours?" Buffy asked.   
  
"I don't know. Seems like the right thing to do."  
  
"I don't see when going off to die has ever been the right thing to do."  
  
Xander looked over to her in the darkness, his teeth gleaming from the light off the screen in a smile he couldn't help.   
  
"You've got a point."  
  
"Of course I do."   
  
He'd excused himself to go to the bathroom after that, and went to the concession stand to buy her some popcorn. A gesture that brought an enthusiastic thank you. They watched the bright colors of Walt Disney's animated wonder that was Fantasia. Each slightly awed that a simple cartoon could be so magical. Xander snuck looks over to her during the movie. Quelling the urge to put his arm around her. This was Angel's girl. He was doing the impossible and thinking the unthinkable. Still, once or twice he'd look at her and know why Angel fell so hard for her.   
  
After the movie they walked down Main Street, just strolling and talking about the movie.   
  
"I wish we had dancing brooms like that in the barracks," Xander said. "It would make clean up a whole lot easier."   
  
She giggled and slowly, nervously put her arms through his. He didn't know how to react to that and kept the inane chatter up.   
  
"And those dancing hippos," he said. "I'd pay good money to see that at a Zoo."  
  
She laughed loudly, the sound of it music to him.   
  
"You make me laugh," she said smiling. "I can't remember the last time I laughed."  
  
"Well," he said unable to keep his eyes from meeting hers. "I take it that's a good thing."   
  
She smiled at him softly before turning her head back to the sidewalk.   
  
"It's definitely of the good."  
  
They continued strolling along arm in arm, not seeing two of their friends watching them from across the street. Oz and Willow had just come out of the Black Cat diner and we're planning on catching the late show at the movies when they saw Buffy and Xander walking contently together. Oz's brow furrowed in confusion at first before his face turned to one of acceptance. He didn't say anything. It wasn't his style. Willow's eyes went wide and she resisted the urge to call over to them. They'd just seemed lost in each other and a part of her didn't want to ruin that. Looking at them fade in the distance her thoughts began to think it was sweet to see them like that, before another part of her went 'oh no.'   
  
***  
  
Buffy was up long before Willow the next morning. Having already showered and made herself breakfast she sat on the edge of her bed in her uniform waiting until it was time to go to the hospital. The events of the previous night were playing themselves in her mind over and over. Part of her felt so alive for the first time in a long time. She'd actually smiled and laughed and... The other part of her felt she was betraying Angel somehow. Xander was his best friend, his brother and yet there was something... She didn't want to think about that something right now. She rose from the end of her bed and walked into the living room. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat on the couch with it. She glanced out the window, looking at the trees and the ocean beyond.   
  
Fifteen minutes later Willow came sleepily out of their room. Buffy was still in the same position, eyes out the window, coffee untouched.   
  
"Buffy," she said. "Buffy," once more when she didn't respond.   
  
"Oh, Willow," Buffy replied snapping out of her daze. "Good morning."  
  
"Morning," the redhead returned. "You all right?"  
  
"I'm fine. Just thinking."   
  
"About last night?"  
  
The blonde nurse's head shot up toward her friend, her eyes wide with shock. She almost felt ashamed.   
  
"Listen Willow," She said quickly. "I...we.. It wasn't...it wasn't what it looked like."  
  
"It looked like you were happy," Willow said. "You were smiling Buffy. And laughing! I can't remember the last time I've seen you do either."   
  
Buffy nodded solemnly.   
  
"I had a wonderful time Will," she said. "I just...it's just..."  
  
"It's just what? It's been months Buffy. I know you loved Angel. But...we're young you know? We have our whole lives ahead of us. Maybe it's time you thought about moving on?"  
"Maybe," Buffy agreed quietly. "But it's Xander Willow. He and Angel are...were brothers."  
  
"Then I really don't see why Angel would mind."  
  
Buffy looked at her friend oddly, a small part of her not believing what she had heard.   
  
"Angel would want you to be happy Buffy. You know that. He wouldn't have wanted you to stop living just because he's gone."  
  
Buffy found herself nodding. Angel would have wanted her to move on. She was just unsure if she could.   
  
"I have to go to the hospital," Buffy said rising from the couch. "We'll talk later?"  
  
"Of course," Willow replied.   
  
Buffy hugged her briefly before walking toward the door.  
  
***  
  
'What are you doing?' Xander thought to himself as he paced outside of Buffy's house. He'd barely slept a wink the night before and as soon as the sun rose he made his way here. Last night was one of the best night's he'd had in...Well, his whole life. A big part of him was ecstatic that he could be himself around a girl like that. A very beautiful girl at that. Butterflies swirled in his stomach and he stared at the door. A million things to say to her flooding in his brain. A small part of him felt extremely guilty for being here, for feeling this way about his best friend's girl. Still, thinking of the way she held her arm in his... He couldn't help but be here wanting to ask if he could see her again.   
  
He paced a few minutes more working up the courage to knock on the door when suddenly it opened and she was standing right in front of him.   
  
***  
  
"Xander?" Buffy asked walking to the edge of the porch.  
  
"Hi," he said looking around nervously.   
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked.   
  
"Well...I uh... Just want to uh..."  
  
"Is this really important?"  
  
"Well, it's not the end of the world or anything," he said.   
  
"Then can we talk later? My shift at the hospital is starting soon and I don't want to be late."  
  
"Want me to walk you?"   
  
"That's okay," she said. "I can make it."  
  
"O-oh," he said. "Okay. Well um...we'll talk later then?"  
  
"Sure," she said walking past him.   
  
He turned to watch her go, smelling the lingering scent of her hair left wafting through the air.  
  
"You're falling for her aren't you?" Willow stated bluntly from the porch.   
  
Xander's head snapped toward her, his eyes blinking rapidly, unsure of what to say. She could see the words he was fumbling for.   
  
"I...yeah," He began. "I'm falling for my best friend's girl."  
  
Her eyes softened toward him as she approached, gently putting a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"I know you feel bad about all of this," she said softly. "But he's gone Xander. I might not have known Angel that well, but he was a good enough guy to want to the people in his life to be happy."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Listen," she said. "If you think this is real. If you can really love her, don't let something like Angel's death get in the way of it. If this thing between you two is something, even if it isn't, let it be because you and her wanted it or didn't want it. Don't let Angel's memory stop you. Do it for yourselves."  
  
"I don't think she could ever love me back."  
  
"Xander... Oz and I saw you together last night. We haven't seen Buffy smile like that in so long. You made her smile Xander. She may not even realize that right now but you do."  
  
He smiled at her gratefully.   
  
"Willow I..."  
  
"Go," she said, her eyes looking in the direction where Buffy was headed.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
***  
  
"Buffy!" Xander shouted, running to catch up to her.   
  
"Xander?" She said turning to face him. "Is everything all right?"  
  
"Yeah, um, peachy."  
  
"You don't look too peachy, are you sure whatever you had to tell me wasn't that important?"  
  
"Can I see you again?" He asked quickly.   
  
She stared at him, not sure what it could mean if she said yes. Not sure if he meant it in that way.   
  
"What do you mean?" She asked.   
  
"I mean...I mean, let me take you out on a...date?"  
  
"Oh Xander," She said softly. "I don't know."  
  
"Listen," He said. "I know we're both feeling a little...I don't want to say this is wrong because it isn't. I just... I can't help what I'm feeling right now and I'd like to... Oh god Buffy, I want to dance with you. I want us to go somewhere and I... I just want to dance with you. Please?"  
  
She looked at him for what felt like ages. Different parts of her mind saying no, other parts(more parts) of her saying yes.   
  
"I thought you didn't like to dance," she said stalling.   
  
"I haven't found the right partner," he said quietly.   
  
Her hand went to his cheek without her even realizing it.   
  
"All right," she said.   
  
He let out the breath he was holding and instantly was all smiles. He resisted the urge to pick her up and twirl her around.  
  
"Tonight?" he asked.   
  
"Tonight," she confirmed.   
  
"Still don't want me to walk you to the hospital?"  
  
"Sure," she said as she turned and began walking.   
  
He stared after her a second, almost not believing what had just happened. He pushed his disbelief aside and trotted to catch up.   



	4. Rhapsody

All eyes stared at Xander as he walked up to the hangar where all his buddies were working on one of the Fighting Hound Dog squadron's P-51 Mustang's. Wrenches clattered to the ground as Jonathan and Wesley looked up to him. He was dressed in a cream colored spread collared dress shirt, loose tan tie, pressed black slacks and spit shined executive shoes. His hair was slicked back and he carried a bundle of flowers in his hand.   
  
"Well, well," Spike said as he approached. "When did you turn into such a good looking son of a bitch?"  
  
The guys chuckled as Wesley walked up to him.   
  
"Do my eyes deceive me?" He said looking Xander over. "Nice clothes, clean shaven, hair styled, flowers... I could swear you had a date."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Xander said pushing him back. "Get your yuks in. Anybody else? Johnny? Oz?"  
  
"I think they can handle it," Oz replied.   
  
"Who's the girl that pulled the mole from his hole?" Jonathan asked. "We haven't been able to get you to do anything for how long? And poof? One gal just comes and snaps you out of it?"  
  
"Jesus Johnny, I'm glad it was girl," Spike threw in. "We've been worried about our pal Xander for awhile haven't we boys?  
  
"Quite a bit in fact," Wesley agreed.   
"Let me get this straight," Xander said. "You all have been thinking about me that much, and you're worried about my orientation?"   
  
He let a smug smile curl on his lips when no one had a response.   
  
"Thought so."  
  
"Think you're so clever," Spike muttered.  
  
"You never answered me," Jonathan said.   
  
"Answered what?"  
  
"The girl," he repeated. "Who's the lucky girl?"  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"It is a girl right?"  
  
"Yes it's a girl," Xander said. "It's...uh, it's Buffy."  
  
Shock, confusion, and acceptance seemed to play on the faces of all his friends at once. He looked to Oz who merely nodded. He understood.   
  
"When the hell did this happen?" Spike asked.   
  
"Last night," Xander said. "Look guys..."  
  
"You don't have to explain anything to us," Wesley assured. "It's not our place to judge you on this."  
  
"I know. But I just wanted too..."  
  
"But nothing," Wesley insisted. "If she feels its time to move on, then I say godspeed to both of you."  
  
Xander placed his hand on Wesley's shoulder. "Thanks."  
  
"Anytime."   
  
"So why are you working on Dog squadron's heaps?" Xander asked pointing at the Mustang.   
  
"Poker face Price there lost a big hand," Spike said.  
  
"And why are you guys helping?"  
  
"Wanker Tom Sawyer'd us into it."  
  
Xander glanced to Wesley, an appreciative look in his eyes.   
  
"Smooth."  
  
The sound of heels clicking along the pavement caused all the men's heads to turn. Eyes squinted against the shadows of the night. And suddenly there she was. Blonde hair perfectly curled in a forward roll, face powdered and lips red. The red silk dress looked custom made for her. Xander looked on awestruck.   
  
"This is our cue to leave," Wesley said patting Xander on the shoulder. "Have a good time Xander. You deserve it. Come on gents lets go."  
  
"Go get'em," Jonathan said walking past.   
  
Oz just smiled at him.   
  
Spike stared at him, then at Buffy. "What I wouldn't give to be in your shoes," he said, dodging the swat Xander aimed at his head.   
  
He watched his friends walk off, each one of them shooting looks over their shoulders. They were okay with it. He was glad. His eyes turned back to Buffy and the awe returned instantly.   
  
"Hi," she said taking a moment to look him over and grinning in approval. "You look good."  
  
"Th-thanks," he stuttered. "You look...I mean you look very...Wow."  
  
"Is there a compliment somewhere in there?" She asked.   
  
"You look beautiful," he said. "These are for you."  
  
She took the flowers from him and brought them to her nose, inhaling lightly.   
  
"They're lovely," she said. "Thank you."   
  
They stood face to face, not knowing what to say next, but enjoying each others company.   
  
"Shall we go?" He asked.   
  
"We shall," she replied. "Unless your idea of dancing with me was on a runway next to a gutted out plane."  
  
"I'm not *that* stupid," He said gesturing for them to walk.   
  
"Lead the way soldier," she said looping her arm in his.   
  
***  
  
Xander pulled the borrowed Cadillac up to the curb a few feet from the door of 'The Underground Club.' He got out and rounded the hood, rushing to Buffy's side to get the door for her. He took her hand as he helped her out of the car and held onto it as they walked toward the club. He felt like a schoolboy sneaking glances at her then looking away when she caught him. She must have thought it was cute because she'd playfully nudge him each time. He slipped the doorman a five for a decent table and they were escorted to a booth just to the left of the stage. The atmosphere was mellow, and everyone around seemed relaxed in that easy going California way.   
  
The band on stage flowed through "I Hear Rhapsody" as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. Xander's eyes darted between the couples already on the dance floor, and Buffy whom was also watching them. A waiter came by and took their drink orders. A white wine spritzer for the lady, and a Manhattan for the gentlemen. They sat comfortably next to each other, not to close, not to far. The position of two people in the beginning of something.   
  
They talked about growing up in small towns. Buffy coming from somewhere in the mid-west and Xander coming from up North. Buffy escaped her one-horse existence by lying about her age and joining the Navy at sixteen. She wanted to see the world. If she'd stayed she knew that would have never happened. She'd been a nurse for three years. She loved her job. She loved being able to help people. Xander spoke of he and Angel always wanting to be pilots. He told her about the time he and Angel took turns jumping of the roof with wings they'd fashioned out of sticks and an old bed sheet. She laughed when he'd said their mother nearly rung their necks after he'd gotten a broken leg and Angel a broken arm. They were surprised that they felt no awkwardness talking about Angel. He'd been such a big part of both their lives, and consciously they knew it should be no problem speaking of him. It was a different matter when they did speak of him and it was actually okay.   
  
They sat there watching more couples dance; their hands clasped together under the table. Xander brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly, his eyes drifting up to meet hers. His heart pounded at the way she was looking at him. At *him* and no one else but *him.* It was then that he could truly believe the possibility of her loving him. It was then that he realized that he was indeed falling in love with her.   
  
The band started into "I'll Be With You in Apple Blossom Time." Xander could feel his palms begin to sweat and he knew that now was the time to get his dance. He rose from his seat, never letting go of her hand, and bowed before her.   
  
"May I have this dance?" He asked.   
  
"Indeed you may," she said lifting herself from the booth.   
  
He wrapped his arm around her waist as he led her to the dance floor, her head resting on his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He spun her into his embrace once they'd reached the polished wood floor. His arm stayed around her waist as his other hand grasped hers. He stepped forward slowly, getting a feel for her against him like this. A slight backward step, a slow turn to the left. The music flowed over them, wrapping them in a sort of melodic warmth. Her head rest against his chest and he couldn't resist kissing the top of her head. They swayed together, the music overtaking them and making the rest of the world disappear. She could here his heart pounding. She smiled knowing it was beating so fast because of her.   
  
"My heart is beating in my ears," he said softly, spinning them slowly around the floor.   
  
"Mine too," she replied.   
  
Her head lifted from his chest and her eyes searched his. The soft brown orbs focused on her and only her. She could see his admiration for her in them. His absolute thrill of being with her. His growing, dare she think it, love. Her fingers ran up the front of his shirt, slowly wrapping themselves around his tie. She pulled him to her slowly, wetting her lips as he inched closer. His hand ran up her back and as their lips touched gently for the first time, each was surprised by how freeing it felt. Freeing in the way that in that moment the chance that they *could* move on to something more, was being replaced with the fact that they *would* move on. The music flowed, the passion grew. And neither one of them dared try to stop it.  



	5. Infamy

  
***  
6:30 am. December 7th, 1941  
***  
The glittering essence of yellow/orange gold rose like a giant fireball over the mountains, casting first light across the western land. Xander stared in awe at the sight before him. The sheer beauty of it. So naturally wonderful he could not tear his eyes away. For a split second the hills looked as if they'd caught fire, the golden brown grass reflecting the light shown down on it. Not once in his life had he ever taken the time to see a sunrise. Not once had he ever taken the time to appreciate beauty in any form. Funny how your whole word view changed when he had a girl on his arm. His girl. Thee girl. The one you knew you could share a million sunrises with and never grow tired of. Buffy's head lay gently against his shoulder, her arm wrapping lovingly with his. They wore their winter coats and sat on the hood of the Cadillac Xander now owned. He had bought it off of the same guy who let him borrow it a few months ago. The night of their first date. He had just won a brand new Packard in a poker and offered to sell it to Xander for only five hundred bucks. It was a good car. Classy, lots of room, ran smoothly. He and Buffy would take a drive whenever they could. They'd been together for three months now. Xander couldn't imagine being with anyone but her. She looked up at him briefly, seeing the appreciative awe etched on his face. She smiled to herself before snuggling back against him.   
  
"I knew you would like it," She said confidently.  
  
"Oh I do," he replied. "I really do."  
  
"I used come up here a lot," she said. "I've never told anyone about this place. My secret spot from the rest of the world."  
  
He turned his head to her, eyebrows raised and the question forming on his lips so easily readable.   
  
"I brought you here because I wanted to share this place with you," she said softly. "Something we could both enjoy."  
  
His put his arm around her, placed a kiss atop her head and held her close. He had never felt so close to someone as he did to her at this moment. He'd never been good with girls in the past. He'd fumble for words, not too sure what to do or what they wanted to hear. When he did find them they'd be all the wrong things to say. He'd been too overzealous, or not overzealous enough. He breathed easier knowing it wasn't like that with Buffy. When he was with her anything he said or did felt natural.   
  
The sun rose higher, illuminating the world for another day. A pit had started to form in his stomach and his throat began to tighten. The words beating from inside his heart causing the rest of his body to wrack itself with nerves.   
  
"I..."   
  
The words that he knew could come so easily pressed themselves onto his tongue, keeping them from coming out smooth.   
  
"I...l-lo..."  
  
He turned his head away from the sun and looked down at the car bumper. He silently cursed himself for choking on the three words he wanted to say to her so badly in this place, in this moment. He felt her arms wrap around his waist and her hand lift to his cheek. She turned his head making him face her. Their lips touched briefly, a whisper of a kiss.   
  
"I know," she said. "Me too."  
  
***  
Sunnydale Naval Base. 11:00 am. Pacific Time.  
***  
  
There were no guards posted at the entrance to the base as Xander pulled up to the gates. They'd gone for a drive after seeing the sunrise, and then had a late breakfast at the Black Cat Diner. They talked about seeing the new picture posted on the marquee at the theatre. Sergeant York it was called. Xander got out of the car and walked into the booth hitting the button to raise the barrier.   
  
"No one at their post," he said to Buffy as he got back into the car. "That's odd."  
  
They drove slowly down the road leading to the barracks when they saw the huge crowd standing in the main square.   
  
"It looks like the whole base is there," Xander said.   
  
"I wonder what's going on," Buffy replied.   
  
"Can't be an air-raid drill. Everyone looks too bunched together for that."  
  
"No sirens either."   
  
Xander swerved the car around the mass of people, the Cadillac barely missing a few people's legs. They could hear a loudspeaker cackling somewhere in the distance but couldn't make out what was being said.  
  
"Did the General die?" Buffy wondered aloud.   
  
"He's a good man," Xander said. "But I don't think even he could constitute a crowd this big. Something is wrong. "  
  
"Really wrong."  
  
Xander pulled into his usual spot next to his barracks. He and Buffy got out and began backtracking to the square and the crowd, when Spike and Jonathan rushed past them in a flurry of speed.   
  
"Spike!" Xander shouted. "Johnny!"   
  
The platinum-haired pilot heard him and skidded to a halt.   
  
"Where the hell have you been?" He shouted back. "Commander Giles and the boys have been looking for you all morning!"   
  
"What's going on?" Xander yelled.   
  
"Pearl Harbor just got bombed!" Spike bellowed. "We're going to war!"  
  
Xander watched him turn and take off again. He couldn't move.   
  
War.  
  
A simple three-letter word that could send chills down your spine.   
  
A few months ago it wasn't something he was afraid of. He wasn't afraid now, but those few months ago he didn't have anything worth losing if America ever decided to get involved in the fighting. He had something now. He had Buffy. She was everything. As if on cue, her hand rested easily on his shoulder. He slowly turned to face her. They stared at each other briefly before Xander took her in in his arms and held on tight.   
  
***  
  
"Hey," Xander said to the tombstone marked with his brother's name. He glanced around the cemetery seeing a few other people bringing flowers to their lost loved ones. He didn't have any flowers. Angel was never really a flower person. On the receiving end anyway. The only thing he had with him was his army issued duffel bag filled with the essentials.   
  
"I'm going to Hawaii in a few hours," he said. "We...uh, are at war now. I'm going off to fight and I wanted to say good-bye."  
  
He stood rigid. He wasn't sure of the protocol one followed at a gravesite. He hadn't been back here since the funeral. It was too hard to come back knowing it was Angel's final resting-place. Guilt had kept him from even thinking about coming here after he began dating Buffy.  
  
"I always thought we'd be fighting side by side you know. Up there in the skies. Seeing how many barrel rolls we could do in a row. Playing chicken..."  
  
He kneeled down, resting his hand on top the tombstone.   
  
"I'm sure you know about Buffy, and me" he said. "I can see you up there, sitting on your cloud playing the harp and looking down on us. I know why it was so easy for you to fall for her. I mean, it was just as easy for me"  
  
A broken laugh.   
  
"If you were here you'd beat the tar out of me for even thinking about your girl."   
  
A deep breath.   
  
"I have a favor to ask. Buffy... She's my girl now and I love her. Oh man, I want to marry her."  
  
He hung his head.   
  
"I just thought I should tell you that."  
  
Another breath. The grief of loss was beginning to wash over him.   
  
"I miss you man, but I'm not eager to join you yet. My favor Angel... Watch over me will ya? She's already lost you and I don't want to put her through that again. Bring me back to her okay?"  
  
He stood up and threw his duffel bag over his shoulder. He looked at the headstone once more, saluted, and turned to walk away.   
  
***  
  
All members of the Hellmouth Squadron lined up along the runway waiting for the Boeing 3-14 to fuel up. Their duffel bags sat beside them and they were saying good-bye to their gals. Wesley held Cordelia as if he never was going to see her again. Her arm ran up and down his back trying to reassure him that he would. Oz and Willow stood with their foreheads pressed together, her sobs audible to anyone. Jonathan stuttered his good-byes to Tara, than grin on her face the same as when they first spoke. Spike and Amy twirled slowly in a dance only they could hear.   
  
Xander stood off to the side watching all his friends together. He'd asked Buffy not to come see him off. He didn't think he could ever get on that plane if he knew she was there. Still, he was constantly looking behind his shoulder looking for her. He almost knew she wasn't going to listen to him. He looked past the plane over to the hangar and saw her there. Standing still, hoping he wouldn't see her. He smiled to himself.   
  
"Be back in a minute," he said told the guys.   
  
She began to walk toward him as soon as he headed toward her. They met in the middle of the runway, as nervous as they were that first night they went to the movie.   
"I thought I told you not to come," he said with a grin.   
  
"You knew I couldn't do that," she replied.   
  
He was silent once more as he looked at her, his hand reached to touch hers but he let it fall short.   
  
"Are you all right?" She asked.   
  
"I'm...fine. I'm fine."  
  
"Are you afraid? Because it's okay if you are you know. You'd have to be insane not to be."  
  
"Of the war? No, I'm not afraid of that."  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"I went to see Angel today..."  
  
Her eyes grew wide for a moment.   
  
"Oh," she said before nodding and continuing to look at him. He moved closer to her; so close she could feel the heat from him.   
  
"These past few months with you...they've been the best I've ever had in my life. I... I love you Buffy."  
  
She smiled at him, wanting to hug and kiss him for finally being able to say what she knew all along.   
  
"I know he's gone," he spoke softly. "But there's just some part of me..."  
  
"What is it?" She asked staring deeply into his eyes.   
  
He lowered his eyes from hers, not being able to look at her as he said this.   
  
"Part of me is afraid you still love him more than you'll ever love me."  
  
He looked over to the plane instead of back to her. If what he said was true he knew he'd be able to see it in those beautiful eyes of hers. He couldn't bear to see it if it were true.   
  
He felt her hand touch his, her fingers lacing with his own. It was then that he found the courage to look at her once more.   
  
"I love you Xander," she said quietly. "Yes I loved Angel, in a way I always will but...my heart. It's yours."   
  
He couldn't help the smile that took over his face. She kissed him gently, throwing her arms around his neck, savoring the contact.   
  
"You come back to me," she said.   
  
"Yes ma'am."   



	6. Invincibility

  
Bullets flew by his cockpit missing him by inches. Xander glanced over his shoulder and saw the fire of the wing guns behind him let loose once more. He pushed his control stick down and to the left, sending his P-40 into a spiraling dive. The Zero on his tail followed him downward, guns blazing.   
  
Somebody get him off me! Xander shouted. I can't shake him!  
  
He jerked his control stick up guiding the plane into climbing turn. The Zero swerved and bobbed behind him refusing to be shaken from his tail. Xander pushed on the accelerator sending the engine into a screaming fury.   
  
"Be good," Xander told his plane through gritted teeth. "You take care of me, I take care of you remember?"   
  
He threw a barrel roll causing the Zero to lose him for a second, but it's pilot quickly adjusted and zipped to Xander's behind again.   
  
Is anybody out there! Xander yelled. The dog behind me thinks I'm his fucking tail!  
  
A little busy right now. Wesley responded. Got two in my sights now.   
  
Anyone else?  
  
Need me to hold your hand too? Spike blared in. I would help you guy, but I'm in a pickle myself here.  
  
Oz? Johnny?   
  
Busy. Jonathan replied.   
  
Ditto. Echoed Oz.   
  
"Fuck," Xander muttered jerking the plane to the right and avoiding another spray of fire, a few bullets tearing into his wing. "You want to play?" He taunted. "Fine, we'll play."   
  
He pulled the plane skyward until the nose was pointing north.   
  
"A little trick my brother taught me."  
  
He jerked the stick quickly downward, flinging the plane at an odd angle and making it look like he lost control. He almost crashed into the Zero spinning like he was. He pulled back on the accelerator to regain control, and shoved it forward when he did. The Zero was now right in front of him. Xander squeezed on the trigger sending his own hail of bullets. Smoke irrupted from the Zero's tail and it began to fall helplessly toward the sea. Xander banked again and found Spike being chased by two Zero's. He divebombed from above, bullets flying, engine pumping. He got one of them and Spike's plane shot downward trying to shake the other.   
  
Hellmouth Squadron! Xander yelled into the radio.   
  
Terrors of the skies! Everyone shouted back.   
  
***  
  
Down on the runway everyone taxied their planes into a line and climbed out to greet each other.   
  
"Thanks for the hand back there," Spike said to Xander.   
"You too," Xander replied rolling his eyes.   
  
"Hey! I would have..."  
  
Xander put up his hand up to silence his friend. "I know you would have Spike."  
  
The blond-haired nodded at him. They all looked at eachother. Their faces glad they made it through another day, but the eyes were cold and almost empty. It was almost like an out of body experience up there. Flying and fighting like each breath and each second could be your last. They'd been lucky so far. One month of fighting and all them still alive to talk about it.   
  
"Who's up for a beer?" Jonathan suggested.   
  
"I am," Spike, Wesley, and Oz replied.   
  
Jonathan looked to Xander.   
  
"Not tonight," he said. "I've got some stuff I gotta do."  
  
"You're going to write Buffy," Jonathan said.   
  
"That easy to read huh?"  
  
"Yup," they all said.   
  
"I'll see you guys later," Xander said, turning to walk away.   
  
"Send a big kiss for me will you?" Spike yelled after him.   
  
Xander laughed to himself and kept walking to the barracks to get his paper and pen.   
  
***  
  
The sun was just beginning to set as Xander found the rock he sat on everytime he wrote Buffy. He allowed a small grin staring at the orange-red disc fading below the sea. He wished she was here right now sitting on this rock next to him. He thought of it as his magic place cut off from the rest of the world, the war. She'd shown him hers, he wanted to show her his. Tugging at the collar of his shirt he looked down at the pad of paper sitting in his lap. He tapped the pen against his chin trying to summon up the words he wanted to say to her. The ocean sprayed its salty mist a few feet away and he inhaled deeply, enjoying the freshness of the air. He put the pen to paper and began to write.   
  
Dear Buffy,   
  
We both know I am not the best man when it comes to words. But writing you makes me want to be. I think. I just want to be able to say what's on my mind when I'm with you and when I think of you. Am I making sense right now? I don't think I am. I can see your smile already. It's funny how I can never seem to be suave and smooth when I talk to you. Or write as the case seems to be. It's warm here Buffy, even though it's still winter time. I can't imagine ever being warm without you next to me. Half of the guys are walking around in hula shirts and shorts when we're not flying or on duty. Hawaii is a paradise. I have to take you here when the war's over. You'd love it. I'd love it too but I can't seem to enjoy anything without you near. The guys are tired of me moping around what's left of the base thinking about you. They don't understand. I never expect them to either. I think about you all the time. All the time. There isn't a second in the day when I don't wonder how you are, what you're feeling, what you're doing. I bet you've been busy organizing all those supplies and shipping them here. Must be very exciting work. The fighting isn't what I expected it to be. I didn't think it was going to be all fun and games or anything. But, I don't know. I'm not enjoying having to go up there everyday knowing that each day, each breath, each second could be my last. We're supposed to be hero's. I sure don't feel like one. The only thing that gets me through it all is the thought of you. I have your picture in my cockpit. It brings me luck. Wesley, Johnny, Oz, Spike, and I have all been lucky so far. But everyday more and more men don't come back. More families with sons lost. I'm only doing this because I have to. I only wanted to fly, I didn't want this. I must sound like such a coward don't I? Whoever said "War is hell" knew what they were talking about. Oz almost got shot down the other day. Don't tell Willow. He knows she is worried enough about him. Spike, Wes, and Johnny have all had close calls as well. I have been doing all right. No really scary instances to worry about. I only have one salvation from all the fighting, and that is you. I want to see you so badly. To hold you close, to kiss you. I miss your smile most of all. It could cheer me up anytime I needed it. We're being shipped somewhere deeper into the Pacific tomorrow. They haven't told us where yet. I'm guessing Guam, or maybe even the Philippines. They're both occupied territory right now so I have no clue how we're going to get there.   
  
The sunsets here are as beautiful as the sunrises there. I think back to that day we watched the sun rise together. The fact that you just knew what I was trying to say... I still smile about it. Are you treating my Caddy well? I know you are. Hmm, see this is where I have problems with the words. I feel like I have so much more to say to you but I don't know how to get them out. Maybe one day they'll just hit me and you'll have a letter from me that's more than two pages long. I better get back to the barracks now. Another night, another dream of you.   
  
I love you.   
  
-Xander  
  
***  
  
He looked out at the ocean once more, now black with nightfall. Folding up the paper and putting it into his pocket, he walked back toward the base. He stared up to the stars. You could see so many of them here. He didn't know anything about constellations, or planets, or galaxies. Still, he thought it was quite a sight to look up at. Whistling to himself, he pulled a Zagnut bar out of his pocket. He smiled at the enjoyment the chocolatey goodness brought to his tongue. Hawaii was beautiful, but the only thing he could find to hold against it was that he couldn't find a pack of Twinkies anywhere. 'Oh, well,' he thought. The candy bar would do.   
  
As he walked closer to the base he saw commotion all over the runway. Pilots running toward their planes, mechanics still standing atop wings and in front of propellers making thier final adjustments. He saw his friends looking around frantically. They were probably looking for him.   
  
"Great," he muttered to himself. "I always seem to wander off when something bad happens."  
  
He threw the rest of the candy bar on the ground and ran to his own plane.   
  
"Night raid?" He shouted over to Oz whose plane was parked right next to his.   
  
"Radar detected and enemy fleet about a hundred miles offshore," Oz responded. "You would think they wouldn't come near Hawaii again."  
  
"That's what you get for thinking," Xander replied taking his radio headphones from around his control stick.   
  
Commander , this is Devil Two reporting in. He said.   
  
Tardiness will not be tolerated Harris. The radio blared back.   
  
Sorry Command, wasn't expecting a spur of the moment raid.  
  
Just get in the air Lieutenant.  
  
Yes sir.   
  
Xander flipped the ignition switch, his engine roaring to life. He taxied his plane along the runway behind Wesley. Oz was behind him followed by Spike and Jonathan. He pushed forward on the accelerator pushing the plane to air speed. The take off was smooth as always and he flew into formation with his squadron with ease.   
  
"You are a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk," he murmered quietly.   
  
Okay gents. Wesley said. The fleet of enemy warships is one-hundred miles away, we're about twenty minutes away. A fleet of our own ships is set to intercept but we'll most likely get there first. Let's just hope they don't spot us ahead of time.  
  
We'll get'em. Spike said confidently.   
  
Roger that. Jonathan threw in.   
  
Any words of encouragement Xand-man? Oz asked.   
  
Yeah. Xander said. Don't get killed.  
  
Works for me.  
  
Xander looked at the picture of Buffy stuck between his gauges. It was a picture he'd taken of her when they were at the beach in the last warmth of Indian summer. They'd built a sandcastle, or at least attempted to. It looked more like a sand mountain than it did a castle. He closed his eyes briefly, flashing back to the day.   
  
Look lively everyone. Wesley said. We're coming in on the fleet now.   
  
Xander snapped his attention back to the situation. He must have been day dreaming. Not exactly the best thing to do in a $45,000 airplane. The ships below were hard to see against the black of night and sea. Silhouettes floating serenely among the moonlight.   
  
Let's get them! Spike shouted. Hammers down!  
  
Wesley led the charge, divebombing toward the front most ship in the fleet. His guns blared, the fire of them flashing like lightning. Xander followed Wesley, opening fire as soon as he knew he was close enough. He threw the plane into a bank turn, the sound of anti-aircraft guns booming after him.   
  
Make another run. Wesley said into the radio. Branch out to avoid the guns, hit'em low and hit'em hard.  
  
Roger that. Oz, Spike and Xander replied.   
  
Hellmouth Squadron! Jonathan shouted.   
  
Terrors of the skies! Everyone shouted back.   
Xander dove for another run on what seemed to be the biggest of the ships, guns firing away while he swooped and dodged the retalitave fire from the ship. Bullets whizzed by his cockpit. He threw the plane into a barrel roll, the orange fireflies buzzing around.   
  
They've got some pretty heavy guns down there! He shouted ino the radio.   
  
We can skip past them. Spike replied. Hopscotch to and fro.  
  
You played hopscotch? Jonathan asked.   
  
Can it Johnny boy. Spike shot back. Your mother...  
  
Can it the both of you! Wesley commanded, flying over Xander's plane. This is hardly the time.  
  
Xander smirked to himself, dodging another spray of fire.   
  
How much damage are we making? He asked. I can't see a damn thing out here!  
  
I haven't the slightest clue. Wesley answered. Just keep firing and we're bound to... Xander watch out! Bogey on your tail!  
  
What? Where the hell did these guys come from? Xander yelled as a pack of Zero appeared from nowhere.   
  
Must be a carrier near by! Oz suggested.   
  
I don't like this. Jonathan put in.   
  
The Zero's swerved around the P-40's opening fire and flipping through their defense.   
  
Get away from the ships! Wesley ordered. We can't dodge the ship's guns and these goons as well!   
  
Xander spun his plane around, retreating from the silhouettes of the enemy fleet. He swayed back and forth trying to avoid the plane on his tail, but like earlier in the day he couldn't seem to shake him. He dove toward the water, the Zero following swiftly.   
  
"Shit, shit, shit," He cursed to himself.   
  
Anyone out there that can lend a hand?  
  
Busy. Spike replied.   
  
Occupied. Jonathan rang in.   
  
Give me a second. Oz said. I'm right on this one.  
  
I've got you Xander. Wesley said. Just give me a... lookout!  
  
The Zero opened fire, tearing the steel right off of Xander's tail.   
  
I'm hit! He shouted. She's not responding! I'm going down!  
  
Bail the hell out there! Spike shouted.   
  
Xander grabbed the switch for the hatch and pulled. It didn't move.   
  
Canopy's stuck! It won't budge!  
  
You're joking! Spike shouted.   
  
It won't... Oh no.  
  
The plane screamed toward the sea, tail in flames, the pilot inside kicking against the glass. He pounded it as hard as he could. It wouldn't move.   
  
"Open you fucking thing!" He shouted. "Open!"  
  
He took out his pistol and fired, shattering the glass. He punched out the remaining panes and tried to squirm his way out.   
  
I'm bailing you guys!  
  
Godspeed Xander. Wesley said.   
  
He grabbed the picture of Buffy before jumping out. The air rushed up against him as he fell sending his hair flopping behind him and his cheeks flapping. He couldn't see how far he was from the ships. He couldn't see how far he was from the water. He pulled the ripcord quickly, the parachute snapping him upward. His teeth chattered against the windchill. He thought it was the oddest thing when he fell through some clouds. It felt like riding through a marshmallow almost.   
  
The water came up sooner than he thought. He couldn't believe how cold it was. Immediately his joints began to ache, freezing and unwilling to move. It was a cold so deep he could feel it in the marrow of his bones. Small threads of moonlight shone through the water as he sank. He couldn't see his own hands in the water. The mass of his parachute weighed against him, and he cut it off as he drifted down further. He couldn't tell how far down he was, the moonlight above not lighting the water enough. He didn't know if he could make it to the surface.   
  
"Go!" His mind shouted. "Go!"  
  
His arms and legs began thrashing against the deep chill. His body now pumping with energy. He thought of Buffy, letting the image of her face fuel him.   
  
"Go, go, go!"  
  
The thought of getting back to her propelled him. Just needing that chance to be with her again, to hold her in his arms, to kiss her lips.   
  
"GO!!"  
  
He gasped in huge lungfulls of air as he broke the surface. He kept his arms and legs waving about to stay afloat. A small ping of dread began to tick in the back of his head. He wasn't sure how long he could keep it up. He twirled around in the water and by lady luck's smiling grace, spotted a piece of broken wing floating off in the distance. He swam as fast as he could toward it, the sea swelling and bobbing him along. When he reached it, his arms and legs felt so heavy he could barely move. He collapsed on top exhausted. His last thoughts before losing consciousness were of Buffy, laughing and smiling in his arms.   
  
***  
  
"Xander," a voice called causing him to stir from his fetal postion. The broken piece of wing bobbed along with the sea, and Xander's eyes squinted open to a blinding light. He ran his hand along his face and attempt to see throught the blur.   
  
"Wake up Xander," the voice repeated.   
  
He was shivering as soon as he felt the water on the surface of the wing. Slowly, with his eyes still closed, he pushed him self upright. He yawned and cautiously opened one eye, still having to squint through brightness, then slowly opened the other one. What he saw in front of him immediately made him think he was dead.   
  
"Angel?"  
  
"In the plasmatic flesh," the dark haired ghost replied.   
  
Xander struggled to sit upright, his hands rubbing over his eyes hoping they would rub out the disbelief.   
  
"How in the...what...what are you doing here?"  
  
"You asked me for a favor remember? I don't turn down my friends."   
  
"But.. but how?"  
  
"That's not important right now."  
  
"No?"  
  
"No."  
  
A smile broke out on Xander's face. Some of the chill buried deep in his body being washed away with feelings of happiness and relief. His brother was magically right in front of him, talking to him.   
  
"It's good to you see you man."  
  
"Good to see you too Xand."   
  
"What are you doing here?" Xander asked. "I mean...you... You're..."  
  
"Dead?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It's all a state of mind really."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sorry. Don't mean to get philosophical on you."  
  
The two men looked at each other. The brotherly bond between united once again.   
  
"So why are you here then?"  
  
"I'm here to bring you back."  
  
"Back?"  
  
"Yeah, you're in a place of...let's say imbalance right now. You're standing on the middle of the fence Xander. You could fall either way and I'm here to guide you through."  
  
"What does fall either way mean?"  
  
"You could fall to one side," Angel said using his hands to illustrate. "And choose to live. Or you could fall to the other side and choose to..."  
  
"Die," Xander filled in quietly.   
  
"Exactly."  
  
"I miss you Angel, but I'm not to eager to join you just yet."   
  
Angel smiled at his brother.   
  
"That's exactly what I told them."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The powers that be. Look, you don't have to think about them now. You have to go back Xander."  
  
"Back?"  
  
"Back to the living Xander. Back to..."  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"Yes, that's what you asked."  
  
"Look Angel, about that."  
  
Angel put up his hands, stopping him from further explanation.   
  
"I know," He said patting his brother on the shoulder. "I can see you two. I can see how happy you are together. I couldn't have asked for a better life for her myself. And believe me I did. I didn't want her to give up living just because I was gone."  
  
Xander smiled, feeling a strange calm begin to envelop him.   
  
"That's exactly what everyone else said."  
  
"You should listen sooner next time."  
  
They looked at each other a moment, sitting in the middle of the ocean on a piece of metal no bigger than a picnic table. Xander reached out his hand, wanting to see if he could actually touch Angel. His brow furrowed when his hand went straight through. It was like waving through air.   
  
"You're not really here are you?"  
  
"Well I am and I'm not."  
  
"Am I awake?"  
  
"Sort of."  
  
"Would you quit talking like that?"  
  
"Do you want to live?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"Then it is done."   
  
Angel stood up, his feet not seeming to touch anything. He turned away from Xander and began to walk away.   
  
"Wait," Xander called after him. "What's it like?"  
  
"You'll find out someday," Angel replied with a slight smile. "But not today. Go back to her Xander. Get married, have a family, live."  
  
Xander watched him walk across the surface of the water, fading away with each step.   
  
"Good bye Angel," he said.   
  
"Good bye Xander."   
  
"Hey Angel!"  
  
The ghostly figure turned toward him once more.   
  
"Thank you."  
  
Angel smiled and gave him a small wave, before fading away completely.   
  
  
***  
  
Xander stirred against the cold of the water splashing up against him. His eyes did not want to open against the harsh light of day. He sat up slowly, his teeth chattering against the cold. He glanced around and saw nothing but a few more pieces of debris from his plane. The rest of the landscape was nothing but water. He wiped at his eyes, plucking the last remains of sleep from them. He sighed wondering if it was all really a dream.   
  
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture of Buffy, slowly tracing his fingers across it. He still had his letter to her as well but didn't want to take it out for fear he would get it wet.   
  
"I'll come back to you," he said to the photo.   
  
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, staring off at the horizon he saw it. He blinked a few times making sure he wasn't seeing things. Something was out there, moving closer toward him. He paddled the broken wing toward the object floating straight for him. It seemed miles away but was getting closer by the minute. He paddled harder, the ship(yes it was a ship) coming steadily at him. Ten minutes later it was close enough for him to see that it was one of thier ships. The one's that were to intercept the enemy fleet. Xander paddled furiously, getting closer and closer.   
  
"Hey!" He shouted at the top of his lungs and waving his arms. "HEY!"  



	7. Aloha Wau Ia Oe

  
The gentle rain of California winter cascaded across the sky and onto the earth. The sun had just set beyond the sea and the wind blew slightly, the air chilly enough to require a heavy coat. Xander stood underneath the awning just outside the hospital doors, cupping his hands to his mouth and breathing onto them. He leaned close enough to the building to keep from getting wet. The last few days had been a blur to him. He had flashbacks of the sea. The ice cold chill running so deep inside he thought he might simply freeze to death floating out in the watery abyss. The winter breeze seemed like nothing compared to it, but still he blew into his hands to keep warm. He inhaled the odd stale scent of wet concrete and smiled to himself. He was alive. He had never felt more alive than he did at this moment. The small black box he twirled inside his pocket helped fuel the thrill of life.   
  
He stood watching her through the thick paned glass of the hospital doors. He longed to run inside and pick her up in his arms and twirl her around until they both collapsed from dizziness, but some part of him was oddly content watching her inside. She sat at the desk mulling over paperwork scattered all around her. He assumed it was an inventory list of the entire hospital's supplies. He felt his lips stretch into a smile at the sight of her. For the last four days he sailed on a cargo ship bound for the mainland just to get here. To see her. Four days of scenarios in which to ask her. Four days of anticipation, apprehension, and excitement. The last twenty-four hours had been the worst. His body practically screaming with the need to see and be near her. He thought it funny that after all of that he stood outside watching, afraid to go in.   
  
His breath caught in his throat when she looked up at the doors for a moment. It only released when it seemed as if she hadn't seen him and continued with her work. She seemed like a wondrous jewel in a window display, lit up underneath the hall lights, her beauty causing her to shine. His hands shook slightly, nerves bundling inside his stomach. He placed a palm on the glass, looking on as Willow approached Buffy and the two of them appearing to be chatting away. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath.   
  
"You came back for her," he thought. "She was the cause of the light that guided you home."  
  
He knew he would have died if he had never made the promise to return to her. All his love and devotion to her so focused at this moment. He was home. He was alive. He was going to be with her again. She was more than the world to him. She was life. Images of them together flashed through his mind. A love so pure he knew it couldn't possibly exist outside of fairy tales. His fists clenched together at the well of emotion brewing inside.   
  
He thought of what he had said to Commander Giles upon returning to Hawaii. He had told, not asked, told him that he had to go back to the mainland. He had to see Buffy. The promise of getting back to her is what kept him alive. Giles reluctantly allowed it. Xander was most grateful and had to keep himself from hugging his commanding officer.   
  
  
He took off his hat, ran a hand through his hair, took another deep breathe. He pushed open the door and stepped inside.   
  
***  
  
Buffy's head turned upward at the creak of the front door and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the shape of a man making it's way toward her. A shape she had burned into her memory. Her pencil clattered to the floor as it got closer, the sound of its shoes against the tile echoing through the halls. Her hands shook and her breath came in short rapid bursts.   
"Buffy?" Willow asked, not seeing or hearing the man approaching. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Xander," Buffy said in a voice barely above a whisper.   
  
"What about him?" Willow inquired. "Did you forget to write?"  
  
"I...I..."  
  
No words could come as he came into view. The smile on his face causing tears to run down her cheeks. She knew she wasn't imagining this no matter how many times she had before. He was here. He was real. She jumped from her seat and rounded the desk at top speed, nearly knocking Willow over. Catapulting herself into Xander's arms and almost toppling them to the ground.   
  
"Xander," she said in a dream like tone. "You're really here."  
  
He kissed her gently, her lips matching perfectly with his own. She actually giggled, she felt so giddy. He lowered her to her feet, their eyes never wavering from each other. Her hand slowly ran down his chest, over his shoulders, the feel of reassuring her of his presence. She threw her arms around his neck, burying her head against him.   
  
"I think I'll leave you two alone," Willow said.   
  
They didn't hear her. They stood with their arms wrapped around each other lost in their own world.   
  
"Okay," Willow said shyly. "Leaving now."   
  
"How?" Buffy asked after a content silence.   
  
"I told Commander Giles I had to come back," he replied.   
  
"He just let you go?" She questioned with disbelief.  
  
"Not exactly," he replied. "The circumstances were a little uh, understandable to him I guess."  
  
"What do you mean circumstances?"  
  
"Here," he said pulling her to the chairs next to the elevator down the hall. "You should sit down for this."  
  
Tears dripped down her cheeks as Xander told her the story. Being shot down in the middle of the Pacific, keeping afloat on the remains of his plane. Dreaming of her the whole time. She leaned into his shoulder and she spoke, her arms wound around him, keeping a firm hold. With all he was telling her she had to keep telling herself he was here.   
  
"You could have died," she said softly.   
  
"But I didn't."  
  
"You could have..."  
  
"Hey," he said, gently lifting her chin and making him face her. "I could have died yes, god that water was so cold, I could have just rolled over and given up..."  
  
More tears spilled as he spoke to her, she couldn't help them from falling.   
"But I didn't die," he said. "All I thought about, all I wanted, was to come back to you. I don't break my promises Buffy. I promised I'd come back and I'm here."  
  
He kissed her forehead.   
  
"I'm here and I'm not going to let anything like that ever happen again."  
  
"How can you be so sure?" She asked.   
  
"The powers that be," he said simply. "They brought me back to you once, what's to stop them from doing it again?"   
  
She didn't know whether to laugh or cry more. Instead she just buried her head between his head and his shoulder, squeezing herself as close as she could get.   
  
"I missed you," she said. "God, I missed you so much..."  
  
"I missed you too. And I'm here now. We're together..."  
  
He slowly reached into his pocket, his palms becoming slick with sweat as his fingers wrapped around the small box. His eyes met hers and as he pulled it out, and remained locked on as he gently placed the box in her hand and closed her fingers around it.   
  
"I want to ask you a question..."  
  
Her mouth hung open slightly, fresh tears brimming around her eyes. These tears were different however, the sadness of Xander's near death experience nearly forgotten with the sound of six simple little words.   
  
"Buffy Summers," he said taking in a deep breath. "Will you marry me?"  
  
She nodded her head numbly before she realized it. No words could come, the tears spilling uncontrollably. She threw her arms around his neck and crushed her lips to his. Her hands wound into his hair, his arms firmly embracing her against him. Their lips melded perfectly together, tongues eager to meet. She lost herself so completely in his arms, in the wondrous simple rapture of his mere presence, and the pressure of his mouth. She felt her head grow light, her knees beginning to shake. If she hadn't already been sitting down, she sure would have needed help standing upright.  
  
"Yes," she gasped breaking the kiss. "Yes, yes, yes."  
  
A thousand watt smile broke across his face as he pulled her from the chair and began to twirl her around in circles across the hall.   
  
"Aloha Wau Ia Oe," he murmured against her neck.  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"It means, I love you."  
  
She laughed softly and smiled against his shoulder. They didn't see the five nurses standing at the foot of the main desk watching them with content smiles. They didn't see the doctor get off the elevator right beside them. They didn't see anything but the promise of their lives together.   
  
The rain poured outside, lightning flashed, thunder clasped. The two of them never heard a sound. Only the joyous laughter between them, and the beating of their hearts, pulsing in synch.   
  



End file.
